Ephesians 5:33

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

From Dr. Emerson Eggrich:

"Note that this verse does not say that you must love or respect only if you receive the same. What it does say is that a husband is to love, and a wife is to respect.

Now we all need love AND respect. I am not saying that a husband does not need love and a wife does not need respect. However, because Ephesians 5:33 reveals that a husband must love his wife and a wife must respect her husband, we see a distinction that is full of significance. Maybe we can answer this way: though we all need love and respect equally, like we all need water and food equally, a wife has a felt need for love and a husband has a felt need for respect. God knew this in advance so He commands the husband to really work at loving his wife and commands the wife to work hard at respecting her husband…

Ephesians 5:33 is saying… A husband is to obey the command to love even if his wife does not obey this command to respect, and a wife is to obey the command to respect even if the husband does not obey this command to love…

“A husband is even called to love a disrespectful wife, and a wife is called to respect an unloving husband. There is no justification for a husband to say, ‘I will love my wife after she respects me’ or for a wife to say, ‘I will respect my husband after he loves me.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!)

When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love—ad nauseam. Thus was born the Crazy Cycle!

When I put this all together, everything points back towards Ephesians 5:33: “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV).” This is God’s design for marriage – He gives us this command because it works!