Ephesians 6:9

Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.


Masters are to do the “same thing”, so we return to the previous verses to see what is meant. Verse 6 instructs servants to do the will of God from the heart, so likewise masters are to do God’s will. The employer is to have a heart of service as well, as if working for Jesus. No matter how high your status you are to follow the principles of God – honesty, integrity, and compassion for your fellow man. Your employees know they are valued, and you have the reputation of valuing honesty over profit margins. You lead through example and gentleness, not through threatening. You reflect the leadership style of your Master – Jesus Christ. You show no partiality with your employees, seeking their best interests rather than your own power. The Spirit controls every aspect of your life rather than compartmentalizing your life into secular and sacred.

Although I am far removed from the corporate world, I am a master of sorts in my home. I lead my children and decide how the household runs. Do I lead with kindness or threatening? Do I have the purpose of serving my children and meeting their needs or am I more focused on checking tasks off my list. Do I reflect the forgiveness and patient teaching exhibited by Christ as He walked the earth? Do I make sure that my children feel no partiality from me? We can all take these concepts and see areas of needed improvement in our own lives.

Make it a rule, and pray to God to help you to keep it, never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say: "I have made one human being at least a little wiser, or a little happier, or at least a little better this day."   - Charles Kingsley

Ephesians 6:7-8

Rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.


Human tendency is to want to get rich quick, work less, and make more. People buy lottery tickets and gamble, sure that the next time will bring the long awaited windfall. We feel we deserve more money for our work and demand higher wages and benefits through our unions. We feel that certain jobs are beneath us and then complain that foreign workers come in and “steal” our jobs. We demand more services from our government, and they print more money and borrow from other governments, devaluing the dollar, inflating prices, and causing us to demand higher wages and more government services. We buy now/pay later and just throw everything on our credit cards.

Even though some of these things may seem good in certain circumstances, is it God’s plan for Christians? Following the example of Christ we will be in submission to our employers, even if the boss is creep and the wages are low. 1 Peter 2:18 says, "Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.” That’s tough! Our desire would be to get out of that job as quickly as possible and gripe and complain for whatever time we had to suffer through the job. If you are a believer then every day of your life is a living testimony. Whether you have a job you enjoy or a mundane job you have only to pay the bills, you are to work to glorify God that men will see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Christian laborers should have such a reputation of honesty, hard work, and integrity that we would be in demand by every level of employer.

God has created me to do him some definite service; he has committed some work to me which he has not committed to another. I have my mission - I never may know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. - John Henry Newman

Ephesians 6:5-6

Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart.


These verses once saved my marriage. Okay, that may be an overstatement, but they certainly brought me to a new understanding of my role as a Christian wife. Maybe the following fairy tale will ring familiar to some of you!

Long, long ago and not so far away, there lived a man and wife with two small children. The husband worked and paid the majority of the bills. The wife stayed home and homeschooled her preschoolers, tried unsuccessfully to keep a spotless house, cook meals from scratch, care for the yard, and juggle the family schedule. She began to feel overwhelmed and underappreciated. No form of communication, nagging, or cajoling could convince the husband to do what the wife felt was his share of the housework. One evening the topic resulted in an argument that culminated in the husband jumping in his Honda Odyssey on a quest to put some space between the spouses. While he was gone the wife cooled down and prayed, asking God to give her guidance. This scripture came to her along with the realization that if slaves were to obey their masters with sincerity, how much more should she do things for her loving husband with a kind heart. Whatever work was done around the house should be done as if for Christ, not as a list of chores or even as an attempt to please people, including my, I mean her, husband.

The word for slave or bondservant is doulous. It can also mean one who is devoted to another to the disregard of one's own interests. Working from previous verses, Paul has built quite the case for submission to others, regarding the interests of others above our own needs. In our society we are conditioned to want the latest things, feel that we deserve a big house and new car, and fight for as much recognition as possible. It is natural to feel this way. But as believers we live in the realm of the supernatural. Through the power of Christ we do good works without even the left hand know what the right is doing. We desire to build the kingdom of God rather than our own earthly kingdoms. We strive for humility over praise. We see others through the eyes of God rather than what they can do for us physically or emotionally. A wise person once said, “If you serve others for the reward of gaining their admiration and gratitude, then your reward will be fleeting and ultimately dissatisfying. If you serve others for the reward of bringing pleasure to your Father God's heart as you work side by side with him, then you will gain eternal rewards.”

The supreme test of service is this: For whom am I doing this? Much that we call service to Christ is not such at all....If we are doing this for Christ, we shall not care for human reward or even recognition. Our work must again be tested by three propositions: Is it work from God, as given us to do from Him; for God, as finding in Him its secret of power; and with God, as only a part of His work in which we engage as co-workers with Him.   - A. T. Pierson

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.


Anytime I feel that my husband is “bugging” my children with I teasingly say, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children!” Even though this verse is addressed to fathers, the underlying principle can easily be applied to mothers, teachers, and anyone else in charge of disciplining children. Since children are required to "obey" in the previous verses it is only fair that the commands of the parent should be doable and not exasperating.

There are innumerable websites and books about how to best to instruct children, but here are a few principles that work in our family (or that we are working on… ahem).

1. Don’t be angry when you discipline. This one is hardest for me. When I discipline in anger I fly off the handle, am more likely to be physical instead of thinking through the most logical consequence, and usually end up apologizing later for something I have said or done. It is better to take time for everyone to cool down if necessary before deciding on consequences.
2. Try to make the punishment fit the crime. We do often use standard techniques such as my 5yo daughter losing pennies or my 2yo going to time out, but we try to make consequences logical. If my 2yo throws things, he has to pick them up (unless there is shattered glass everywhere… sigh). My 5yo may lose out on going somewhere fun or doing a fun activity if she misbehaves.
3. Bring them up in nurture and admonition (discipline and instruction). As often as possible we praise our children highly for doing things the right way. This morning as I was making my children’s breakfast, my daughter instructed her brother, “Let’s unload the dishwasher while Mommy makes our pancakes!” Believe me, that one received some exuberant praise from my lips! I also try to explain the reasoning when I say “no” to their requests.
4. Bring them up in instruction of the Lord. I need to do a better job at this, but using Scripture to back up why you expect certain behaviors helps enforce that they are both honoring you and God when they obey. A favorite for us is “Do everything for the glory of God” (my Col. 3:27 paraphrase). Sometimes I substitute the task and ask a question such as, “How can we play this board game for the glory of God?” My heart’s desire is that we begin to see how every action, thought, and word in our day can contribute to the building of God’s kingdom. I hope the faith of our family saturates every aspect of our life rather than lingering on the periphery.

One of the most important factors in how our children view God is in how the Christian adults in their life behave and whether our actions match our professed beliefs. We must walk with integrity in even the smallest aspects of our lives, especially when little eyes are watching. Christian adults have a responsibility to teach today’s children and youth how to live out faith in a way that is relevant and real. We must take more seriously how we are training our children instead of assuming that they will turn out okay since we bring them to church, do a devotion here and there, or even have them in a Christian school. It is a serious matter, and if we don’t put the time in then they will be sucked into the winds of the prevailing worldview and blown far off the straight and narrow path of redemption.

An old Chinese proverb says, "One generation plants the trees, and another gets the shade." We in this generation are still living in a little bit of shade. Our grandparents and perhaps even our parents, if we're old enough, planted some trees in the past and we are still enjoying some of the shade. But this generation is not planting any trees for the next. And they're going to find themselves in a blistering world with nowhere to hide. 

- John MacArthur

Ephesians 6:1-3

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”


Continuing the theme of submission, Paul instructs children to obey their parents. Assuming that the parents are believers who are actually teaching them “in the Lord,” the children will grow to be not only spiritually sound, but contributing members of society who are more likely to live long in the land. I’ve said it over and over to my daughter, when she obeys us she is obeying the Lord; when she chooses to disobey she is not doing what she wants to do but what Satan wants her to do.

You see, I am the proud parent of a five year old who thrives on arguing with the skill of a trial lawyer. I expect obedience and have tried everything from timeouts to a penny system to losing my temper completely when she won’t do what I say. Recently I have required her and her 2 year old brother to nicely say “yes ma’am” immediately upon hearing a request from me. Then I expect to immediately obey. Miraculously those two little words have made a huge impact. Somehow verbalizing their respect for me has made them more prone to actually obey my requests.

No one has to teach children to misbehave, to hit, to be selfish, or to throw tantrums. Parents and others in a position to mentor children must continually teach things that go against the nature of our flesh – self-control, kindness, patience, love, forgiveness, etc. All Christian adults must model Biblical wisdom and teach the next generation through word and deed. Modern television shows and movies glorify sassy self-centered children and mock clueless parents. We must be very intentional with children and youth in the church in providing them with a biblical worldview and teaching them to live counterculturally for Christ. Teach them to not be conformed to this world (Rom. 12:2). Follow the command of Deuteronomy 6:6-7, “And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Ephesians 5:33

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

From Dr. Emerson Eggrich:

"Note that this verse does not say that you must love or respect only if you receive the same. What it does say is that a husband is to love, and a wife is to respect.

Now we all need love AND respect. I am not saying that a husband does not need love and a wife does not need respect. However, because Ephesians 5:33 reveals that a husband must love his wife and a wife must respect her husband, we see a distinction that is full of significance. Maybe we can answer this way: though we all need love and respect equally, like we all need water and food equally, a wife has a felt need for love and a husband has a felt need for respect. God knew this in advance so He commands the husband to really work at loving his wife and commands the wife to work hard at respecting her husband…

Ephesians 5:33 is saying… A husband is to obey the command to love even if his wife does not obey this command to respect, and a wife is to obey the command to respect even if the husband does not obey this command to love…

“A husband is even called to love a disrespectful wife, and a wife is called to respect an unloving husband. There is no justification for a husband to say, ‘I will love my wife after she respects me’ or for a wife to say, ‘I will respect my husband after he loves me.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!)

When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

Without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love—ad nauseam. Thus was born the Crazy Cycle!

When I put this all together, everything points back towards Ephesians 5:33: “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV).” This is God’s design for marriage – He gives us this command because it works!

Ephesians 5:31-32

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.


Verse 31 is a quote from Genesis 2:24 and the first marriage between Adam and Eve. Husband and wife would become one flesh – as if two souls inhabiting one body. This ancient thought was firmly planted in the Jewish mind of the time, and even Jesus quoted it in His teaching. One man, one woman, for life was the concept, and anyone who stepped outside these bounds was severely punished (especially the women).

But as with many concepts in the Old Testament, the New Testament believers through Christ and the Spirit came to understand that marriage actually referred to a deeper meaning which was previously concealed. The true meaning is that marriage is a metaphor for the relationship between Christ and the church being joined in one body with Him as the head.

As humans we need metaphors and concrete examples to understand abstract concepts. That’s one reason Jesus taught so often in parables. One man, willing to do anything possible to protect and show his love for his wife, a living image of Christ’s sacrifice and love for the church, is joined to one woman, willing to submit and put her husband first, a living image of the church’s relationship to Christ. Both are constantly thinking of the other and living with the other’s best interest at heart. That's the deepest meaning of marriage. It's meant to be a living drama of how Christ and the church relate to each other. "As God made man in His own image, so He made earthly marriage in the image of His own eternal marriage with His people" (Geoffrey Bromiley).

“According to the Bible, the marriage act is more than a physical act. It is an act of sharing. It is an act of communion. It is an act of total self-giving wherein the husband gives himself completely to the wife, and the wife gives herself to the husband in such a way that the two actually become one flesh.” ~ Wayne Mack